essbee80 (essbee80) wrote in happy_healthy,

just disgusting

Cut for those who dont want to hear about my self loathing

Ok so last night was a night out for a group i'm involved with. After searching the shops for something to wear and finding nothing I swallowed the bullet and went into evans. Now most of the clothes there were far too big for me and made me feel kinda slim but the skirt I bought was a size (gulp) 18. I've never bought an 18 in my life! I'm just disgusted with myself and the fact the drugs i'm on has made me get so fat and gross and yucky! I cant blame it all on the pills though as to be honest i've kinda let myself go and become depressed recently. But a size 18? I feel so bad! So yes the diet starts after Christmas and i'm really going for it. Motivation is wanting to look good for the guy you like and looking like a tent instead.

So yes good day isnt it?

cross posted to my own journal and theladiesloos
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